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It can be fun to try something new and shed any inhibitions that either partner may have. It would help if you estimated your partner's reactions before introducing them to your bedroom. Nevertheless, it can be a great way to surprise your partner too.

The Sassy’s sibling, the Pillow Talk Flirty bullet, is designed specifically for clitoral stimulation, but we found that its vibrations were not as strong as those of our budget pick. The Dot features a tapered tip (measuring an eighth of an inch at its narrowest point) that offers pinpointed, rather than broad, clitoral stimulation. Made from soft, flexible matte silicone, the Dot delivers vibrations that are intensely concentrated at the pointed tip of the toy, with relatively little vibration resonating into the hard-plastic loop-shaped handle.

In those cases, "be very mindful about application and use," Switzer says. "Gently test temperature items on a small area of skin to gauge sensitivity." If you have any concerns about an object, run it by your ob/gyn (awkward conversation, we know, but better than an infection!) or skip it. Oh man, you’re the only person who can answer that question. Have you ever used toys or implements during sex with your wife, and, if so, what has her general opinion of them been? If she’s been put off, then it’s worth considering how much more upset she might be to discover you using a sex toy alone.

I’ve come to terms with what our sex life has become even though it is less fulfilling for me and not as exciting. The solution I’ve come up with is trying to find more time to "take care of myself" between sexual interactions. My question is, if I want to make that personal time more enjoyable by getting a sex toy, should I run it by my wife first? I don’t want it to make her feel guilty but I also don’t want to feel judged if she is against the idea. LELO is more than a leading luxury sex toys brand